Sunday, July 13, 2008

Dear Me

Dear Me,

It's really here. You knew this day was coming. But, an "I told you so" is never any comfort, is it? Especially from someone so much younger who can't possibly understand how you're feeling.

I can only imagine the heaviness of your heart today. Your last baby just moved away from home, and you're wondering where the years went, and how the time could have slipped by so quickly. I'm writing to you today because even now, many years earlier, I'm thinking of you.

Can I just tell you that I wish I had your wisdom? You've spent many years loving and parenting these precious children, and I'm so new at this. I feel like I'm flailing a lot of the time, not quite sure what the right choices are, and what choices are really worth mind wrestling over. Do you remember all of the little decisions you had to make to get to this day? I just let Jack and Max eat cookies for lunch; because that's what they really wanted. Surely, that wasn't the wisest of choices; but, do you remember how it made them giggle?

I'm a bit envious of you, you know. You slept in as late as you wanted today, drank a full cup of hot coffee, and ate breakfast while leisurely leafing through your latest stack of catalogs. Do you remember how early three year-old Jack would wake you each morning and say, "Momma, I'm hungry, please play with me, please, please, please, Momma." There's no time for breakfast here most days; unless you consider late morning cold tea and burnt toast as "breakfast". I suppose you'd love to spend a morning in my slippers, pouring Jack his early morning bowl of cereal again, huh? Let's call a truce and say we're both a bit envious of each other. Deal?

I know you feel as though the years went by too quickly, but I want you to know that I am savoring these young Mommy years, loving these babies, kissing and hugging them, and cherishing every day I'm blessed to mother them. Oh, the days can feel so long to me, and meeting so many needs leaves me utterly exhausted at the end of the day. But, I know, even now, that while the days seem long, the years are speeding by; so, I'm stopping, closing my eyes and soaking it all in.

And, though I can't slow down time or turn it back for you, know that I am living these years. Really, really living them. And, I'm recording our memories for you so that on days like today, you can look back and see that your mothering years were full of colorful life. Real life. Tremendous, spectacular, thrilling, beautiful life.

I don't have your wisdom, but I am certain of this. Just as God's grace is often the only thing sustaining me as I make my way through squabbles and dishes and dirty diapers, I know that God will continue to pour His grace out onto you as you move into this next season of life. And, if I know Jason at all from these few short years I've been married to him, he has some marvelous plans for you!

Keep clinging to Jesus. He loves the little children running around the playroom as I type this letter to you. And, just as sure, He is loving you now as you say goodbye to them as they leave home to proclaim His love to a world that desperately needs it. And, to find their way with your love deeply ingrained on their hearts.

You'll always be their Momma. And oh, how they still need you.

The Young Mommy You


  1. Sarah - I love this post. As a Mom whose kids are grown and only having one home, I feel this one. I am envious of you. I would love to be able to go back and spend an afternoon with those busy, cute, snuggly, arguing, crying... young kids. Those days are precious. Of course - time fades those memories of the absolutely crazy days!

  2. Oh, I could never have written this so well, but my heart could have written every word. Thanks for sharing. :)

  3. Miss Sarah-- What inspired you to write these words? You really live in the moment, don't you? How I admire that about you. Always appreciating life.

    My heart gets caught in my throat reading the candor of your letter to yourself. I know you and Jason have the spark to make a really amazing retired couple one day, too.

  4. This was beautiful. I too often find myself thinking, "some day I will wanna go back to these times." And I try to remember not to multi task everything, and to look, really look at my kids faces, and to get down on the floor with them. Ah, thanks for the encouragement. You have a gift with words!

  5. It can be so easy to want to wish time away - til they get to that "better age" for things...but really, I just want to savor it all, take it all in and remember these times...'cause yeah, it won't be long to the youngest one closes the door behind them.

    But oh, the time we'll have to blog then! HAHA (sorry, couldn't resist)


    This is such a special letter that you will cling to as the years go by.

    Sure love your mom-heart.

  7. beautiful, simply beautiful Sarah.

    thanks for sharing your tender, compassionate, loving momma heart.

    your post touched my heart - i think there are days we can find ourselves looking too much to the future and not appreciating and embracing this stage we are in right now. we miss the here and now wishing for the future.

    loved this sarah!

  8. Sarah this was beautiful. We all search for the right decisions at times, as I have every single day. But you are such a wonderful mother to those boys and this letter is just more proof of that.

    Hope you are surviving the morning. I'll talk to you later today!

  9. Beautifully said! What a great reminder that even though at this point in my life the minutes can sometimes seem like years, the years really do fly by like minutes and we need to cherish this time.

  10. Oh Sarah Grace, crying in my yogurt at 1:00 in the afternoon on a monday is NOT what I had planned. But thank you! You have such a beautiful way with words, just wonderful. Your Momma heart is so kind, your boys (and future ones...heehee) will always know that about you. San

  11. Sarah, this is an amazing post. Won't it be interesting that someday your boys will be able to read this, too? They will be so proud of your mother's heart! Thanks for sharing it with us, too!

  12. Oh dear friend, if you only knew. I am still in that transition period of allowing them to grow and hanging on for dear life. There are so many days when I feel like no one needs me anymore. There are also so many days I cherish my alone time.

    May you take each day and find God's fingerprint on your heart. Your young sons are blessed to call you "mommy". Someday you will indeed by looking back, as I am today, and the thoughts will be so very bittersweet.

    I pray that the future holds all of the very best for you, J, and the boys. Never stop dreaming for them and never lose sight of who you really are.

    Love you!

  13. Beautifully written and in such a way that it makes you think about everything surrounding your kids and your parenting.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday! It is nice to meet you!

    We do share movie loves don't we?

    Your children are gorgeous!

  14. You are such a wise young wife, mother and woman. Wise beyond your years. Your children are indeed blessed.

  15. Hind sight is always 20/20, but it seems like your foresight is pretty good too. :o)

    I made a decision several years ago to try to enjoy the phase of life I am in and not just constantly wish for what comes next. That is one of the reasons we did so much traveling this year.

    Thanks for sharing this piece of your you!

  16. I just loved this. Every single word.

  17. what a beautiful letter/post. there are tears in my eyes because i'm that mom on the other end.

    the years have truly gone by too fast and i definitely wish i could have some of that time back. i really wish i had blogged when my kids were little. i could then go back and read and look at the memories... so many happy memories.

    i believe God wants us to enjoy each phase of our lives. each one should be looked at as a gift. a gift He wants us to enjoy and treasure.

  18. Oh Sarah, this post left me heartfelt and wonderful. Remind me to reread it when it isn't my glorious time of the month so I can read it without sobbing....Why do our babies grow up so fast???

  19. awwwweeee, precious. I always try and imagine my life with my kids grown and try to ask my "older" self what will I regret? (cause I can change that now). KWIM??? hugging more, complaining less, cherishing it all and knowing that my older self will say "it went toooo fast"!! So trivial?? Thanks for a great post.

  20. Looooove this. We should all write a letter like this. Great perspective, friend!

  21. Sarah,
    Another wonderfully written post.

    Thank you! I needed this one.