The Day My Heart Broke Into A Million Pieces
All summer long, Jason and I have been preparing Jack - and me - for the start of preschool. Jack has been SO excited - talking about school and telling us all of the things he's going to do there. His most frequently mentioned activity:
"Paint the floor."
God bless his teachers.
Jack has been ready. And, after his open house last week, I was ready.
Someone else was not. And, I never thought to prepare him.
His name is Max.
When we pulled up to Jack's school today, Max stared out the window, wide eyed and taking in the sights on the playground: The castle. The big slide. The children running around and laughing. Then, Jack unbuckled, put on his backpack and opened the van door to walk into his first day.
Max started to cry.
"Mommy, I'm stuck.
I can't get out.
I wanna go with Jack.
I wanna play on the playground, too.
Mommy, I'm stuck."
As we drove away, I tried to comfort him. But, he sobbed. All the way home. He was undone. Totally inconsolable.
We came inside and I hugged and held him like I did when he was a baby and told him that one day he would get to go to school, too. And, that Jack would be home very soon, and that we'd go get a treat together. And, I snuggled with him in his bed with the hopes that I - Momma - could somehow fill the void left by his brother.
His best friend. Jack.
As I sit typing this, I can hear the remainders of his sobs coming from his room. Little gasps of choked up breaths that tell of his tender and precious heart.
He's almost asleep. But, his little heart is broken.
So is mine.
I only know you via your blog and the Prices... and my eyes are all filled up too. :o(
ReplyDeletepoor buddy. I've never seen the kids hug each other so hard here as they do now when Johnathan gets off the bus. cute how they miss each other.
ReplyDeleteOh my! Poor Max. What a blessing that your boys love each other! Yes, this results in a sad day, but oh how sweet the reunion will be. Now Max gets to be the "big brother" when Jack is at school.
ReplyDeleteso, so, so sweet... what a special bond they share, one that I am sure will continue to grow through the years. Hope that everyone adjusts soon!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, now I'm all teary eyed. That is one of the saddest things I've ever heard. Poor Max.
ReplyDeletePoor thing. I didn't even think of the younger sibling getting upset. Hopefully they will have a great reunion, and that the days get better soon. I'll have to go and start prepping Katie for the absense of her sister's first day on Monday now.
ReplyDeleteOh I feel so bad for both of you.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard being the one left behind.
I bet soon though he will enjoy his special time having alot of mommy's attention!
Oh, I'm teary-eyed reading this. Poor Max! It's so hard being the younger one, always waiting to get big enough to join in. I hope that he'll get used to it soon and realize that having extra special time with Mommy and baby brother can be fun too.
ReplyDeleteAh, I know of what you speak! My oldest two went o school before we homeschooled. Collin's heart was broken, too. We found lots of ways to fill the time. Short trips to the park, baking together, cuddles and stories. Still, he was the happiest when the bus carried his beloved brother and sister back home again.
ReplyDeleteOh Sarah - I'm sending you (and Max) the biggest hugs right now!!!
ReplyDeleteI will pray for him (and you) and that you will be able to create some very special Mommy & Max times filled with special activities!!!
HUGS!!!
Ugh, poor little guy (and you). I just teared up reading that. Keep giving him those hugs. Think of this, the big 'ol smile on his face when Max gets home!!!!!!
ReplyDeletemy heart is breaking for max too, as i sit here in tears. poor little guy!
ReplyDeletei hope the next day of preschool goes better for max. I hope jack had a great first day of school!
stop making me cry at work!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for Max's little heart, he is such a sweetheart! What a hard thing to deal with...
Oh my goodness Sarah, the way you wrote this... Dear, sweet Max and his tender heart. It does make me worry now about when we drop off Ruthie next week how Anna will react. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Give that cherub-faced little boy an extra hug from us! Can't wait to see you guys next week!
ReplyDelete:-(
ReplyDeleteOh, poor Max's and Mommy's hearts. I just want to hug him too!
ReplyDeleteOn the bright side, what a blessing that they have such a close relationship.
How sad:( I teach toddlers (1-2years) and one of the boys in my room was just torn apart because his big sister wasn't at daycare, but at kindergarten. It is still taking him time to adjust to his sister not being there.
ReplyDeleteoh buddy. he didn't realize his life would change too! what a tender little guy.
ReplyDeletei hope things get easier - for both of you!
Oh Max, dear sweet, precious Max. I hope he adjusts and you shower him with extra hugs/kisses.
ReplyDeleteMy 2yo daughter isn't happy either when I drop off my 4yo at preschool. She keeps asking about him and where he's at. It's sweet to see them so close, I only hope it lasts when they're older.
Wow, I never went through that with the girls.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for all of you during this transition. Hopefully Max will take over the role of big brother to Lincoln and find a whole new bright spot in his world.
Awww - poor sweetie! Remember this the next time they fight!
ReplyDeleteOH MY! Bless his little heart!!! This is probably the hardest thing he has ever endured. At least he'll be excited for school. :o) What a sweet spirit.
ReplyDeleteAww, that's the cutest and sadest thing all at the same time! How great that they get along so well...hopefully that continues through the years.
ReplyDeleteWhat sweet little ones...makes me look forward to my son getting older. Sort of. Sort of makes me sad too! :)
I hope the reunioun was sweet for all of you.
ReplyDeleteYour boys are blessed to have such a tenderhearted mommy.
awwwee, thats hard!
ReplyDeleteSarah, a beautifully written post. I feel for your Max. Ellie is a bit bummed again that Josh is back in school, but she's also figured out it means more time with Mommy. Hugs to Max, and you.
ReplyDeleteAw, Max! Don't cry...how was the second day, any better? I'm crying with ya, buddy...love you!!
ReplyDeleteYou're just breaking me heart. Poor, sweet Max!
ReplyDelete