Monday, December 8, 2008

Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie

The day my first son was born, I was sitting in my hospital bed blissfully staring at the tiny wonder that was my new baby when my husband returned to our room from dinner. All smiles.

Guess what? Mom and Dad wanna go to our house and clean it for us while we’re here in the hospital. Cool, huh?”

He had reason to be excited. He hadn’t lived in a clean house for months. I was wiped out and tired and downright lazy during my entire pregnancy with Jack – which I laugh about now – having recently been pregnant while simultaneously chasing two toddler boys all over tarnation.

But, my house was a mess. There were piles of dirty laundry all over the place, dirty bathrooms, and dirty dishes filling the sink.

The place was embarrassingly messy. Okay, dirty. It was dirty.

I broke out in a post-baby hormonal sweat at even the thought of my mother-in-law seeing week-old dirty dishes filling up the sink. And, the laundry. Oh, the laundry situation. When I outgrew my regular clothes, I just threw them into a pile on the laundry room floor. And, then did the same as I outgrew my maternity clothes. And, never thought about them again.

Because, you know, I had so much else to do since I stopped working at 20 weeks.

But, the thought of going home to a clean house. How totally awesome would that be?

The thought of a clean house went fifteen rounds with my pride. And, the clean house won by a slim, slim margin. So, I agreed.

I walked into my house four days later, carrying my new baby boy, and the place sparkled. The kitchen floor, the bathrooms – everything was clean. I had forgotten what vacuumed carpet looked like. And, to not have to rinse a clean spoon to have a bowl of cereal? It was simply delightful.

My husband's family came over shortly after we got home to welcome us and our baby boy home. We all oohed and aahed over the little guy for a few hours, and I finally excused myself to take him upstairs to our bedroom to nurse him.

As soon as I climbed onto our bed, I noticed that there were five laundry baskets sitting in the corner of our room - full of clean, folded laundry.

Not only was our entire house sparkly, but all of our laundry was clean. I was having my own little celebration...

Then, I spotted it.

Sitting atop a neatly folded pile of my laundry was a metallic silver thong.

I sat and stared at that basket for several minutes – totally paralyzed.

I was MOR-TI-FIED. It had surely come from that massive, renegade pile of I haven’t worn this since I started showing laundry that had overtaken our laundry room. But there it was. In all of its itsy bitsy glory.

I could just see it. My mother-in-law folding our laundry and having visions of me scandalously sashaying around the house – nine months pregnant – in nothing but that teenie, weenie pair of metallic silver underoos.

I finished stalling nursing Jack and reluctantly returned downstairs. Everyone was getting ready to leave, and despite my utter embarrassment, I knew I had to graciously thank my husband's mom for loving us so selflessly.

I bravely looked at my mother-in-law and said, “Thank you so much for cleaning our house and doing our laundry. We feel so very loved.”

Mom quickly replied, “Don’t just thank me. Dad did all the laundry.”

52 comments:

  1. Oh Sarah! My cheeks are red for you - but I'm laughing too!

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  2. LOVE THIS STORY!
    Lauren

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  3. hehehehe..... hahahaha.... hohohoho... yes, i'm laughing out loud =D

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  4. What a hoot! How can you ever look your father-in-law in the eye? Oh, that's funny!

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  5. i would have totally died. thanks for the laugh :)

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  6. AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA... *snort*breathe* ha ha ha ha ha ha haha hahaha *wipe eyes*breathe* ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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  7. Thanks for sharing your story. You are just too cute!

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  8. BAH hahahaha - Now you most definitely need to write a book! :)

    So, did you like fall to the floor after they walked out the door? Oh man, the feeling, just thinking of that moment, creates in my gut!

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  9. AAHHH!!!!!!
    OH MI GOODNESS!!!!!!

    Thanks for sharing that one dearie.... it is far to good to keep to oneself. :-)

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  10. BA HAHAHAHA .... I can't believe you told that story! You are so brave. You should wrap it up and give it to him for a present as a joke.

    Totallly kidding.

    Smile.

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  11. Oh, Sarah! I can't stop laughing and picturing Uncle Dave doing your laundry, when... We do have those embarassing moments, don't we? Thanks for bringing a smile to my face!

    Like your new banner on your blog! Cute!

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  12. Oh my gosh Sarah!!! This is exactly what I needed to start my day!! I can't stop chuckling!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!

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  13. SUCH a good story!

    AND I'm liking the new Christmas look around here! Very festive.

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  14. haha, they are the best parents! funny that he left them on the top of the pile; I would've stuffed them on the bottom. :)

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  15. That is just fantastic! Nice to know that I'm not the only one that gets mortified now and then! Thanks for sharing.

    ps your cookie recipes have been spectacular! I picked up ingredients for two of them just last night!

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  16. i LOVED this story! i read it at work and laughed out loud!!! it's even more hilarious since i know who your in-laws are...;)

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  17. Basically the funniest story ever. =)
    aaaah good times with mom and dad. =D

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  18. That is fantastic! You told the story just right for maximum punch, too.

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  19. Woo hoo! So glad you decided to post this story! It had me rolling when I heard it and when I read it. Can't wait to hear if he remembers this.

    Love the new holiday look...ya know...in all your spare time. ;o)

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  20. thanks for making a "Short Stop" by my blog.
    this is hilarious! had me rolling in laughter/

    you make cookies everyday at christmas! can i come over?

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  21. LOL! i laughed so hard when i read this story. i would definitely have a hard time looking at my father in law in the eye.

    btw- we have loved all the cookies we have made so far. i love that you are doing the christmas cookie countdown.

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  22. Oh this story gets better the second time around! What a hoot!
    Also, I'm looking forward to making some of your cookies! I'm thinkin'....teacher gifts! Your cookie countdown is a great idea!

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  23. Oh my gosh! I just laughed SO HARD! I totally understand. A few months ago, my sister came over to do her laundry while we were out of town and I forgot about a load of whites in the dryer. She folded them and put them in a laundry basket. A day or two later I noticed that this load had included ALL of my maternity undies (uh, approximately tent sized) which I should have probably burned months before but was still wearing -- don't ask me why. Total mortification. But apparently it could have been much much worse, from the sounds of it!! How funny.

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  24. Oh how I laughed when I saw that you posted this. I told Dave that you did and he was like, "Wow - she's going 'no holds barred'!" Awesome, awesome story. Yes, please write a book!

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  25. Heheheehe...oh, that is just TOO funny! I was like you, only worse - I was let go from my job a few weeks before I even GOT pregnant, so I really had no excuse for the state of our domecile while I was pregnant!

    I'm due any day now, and the house doesn't look much better...but at least there's a 2 year old to blame!

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  26. Sarah! You made Rocks in my Dryer's Saturday Linkage!

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  27. That is hilarious! My hubby and I have a rule about our moms doing our laundry- towels and sheets and baby stuff only!

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  28. Well, I did laundry for my 8-months-pregnant sister-in-law ( who isn't a small lady when she isn't pregnant) and washed her leopard-print tho.ng. They were visiting us at the time, so I doubt she brought her pre-showing dirty laundry with her.

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  29. Oh that is awesome!! Thanks for the laugh (here from Rocks in my Dryer)

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  30. Something similar happened to me. My husband and I both got sick and my in-laws came to take care of us. They cleaned the house and my FIL found my underwear crammed in some far off corner of the bedroom. Ten years later, he still brings it up. Now my 22 month old daughter gets into my underwear drawer and puts my underwear on to wear around the house. One day she found a black thong in the dark recesses of the drawer and wore it into the living room. Some time later I realized there were work men on their way to my house and I couldn't locate the thong. We had to call a halt to everyone's activities until we located Mommy's underwear.

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  31. haha, what a great story. And well told!

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  32. Visiting from rocks.....
    Daddy probably thought it was a sling shot!!!

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  33. THANKS FOR THE LAUGH!!

    I was laughing before I got to the end. Super!

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  34. Mor-ti-fied indeed! I'm still giggling!

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  35. Tooo funny!Remember those silicone bras that taped to you a few years ago so that you could go strapless? Yeah, my FIL presented them to me and told me that they felt like the real thing after helping us pack up to move.

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  36. I don't know how I am going to look at you the same way after this.

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  37. HA HA HA that's great :). visiting from Rocks in the Dryer. My mom and my best friend cleaned my house while I was in the hospital with my fifth, but my friend convinced my mom to just put the clean underwear in a basket for me to sort. Which is good because it's my husband that owns the tho.ngs in the house, not me.

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  38. OH I thought it couldn't get any worse...and then I read the last line!
    Also, I am friend's with Life at the Circus Crystal from college and I know Nancy (Tulip blog) because she worked with my brother and sis in law - I've seen your blog on their blogrolls and always wondered about the connection...

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  39. You are quite the storyteller. That was incredible. Thanks for the pick me up.

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  40. Hahahah! I cracked up, and then? THEN i thought about what I would think if my father-in-law did our laundry and found that.

    And I think I wanted to be a little sick.

    You're a good sport :)

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  41. This is my first time here and oh my lord, that was about the funniest thing I've ever read!

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  42. What an awesome story! LOL "Don't thank me. Dad did all the laundry!" What a riot! ROFL TOO FUNNY!!!

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  43. This cracked me up SO much! Then I spent 20 more minutes reading through your archives. Hysterical stuff!

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  44. Oh My Gosh!!! I am sitting at work reading this and laughing out loud, trying to contain myself, as not to be too obvious...but honestly It is the hardest thing ever! hahaha!!!
    Sara Lunde past this on to me, and Sarah (author)I don't know you, but I feel for you. I think the phrase "I would have..." (or in your case "Just about")"..died" doesn't even come close to the feelings endured. You poor, poor girl.

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  45. Wow! What a good laugh!! You are awesome to share this, what a great blog! Thanks for leaving me a post on my blog. It's really neat to get a comment from random people.
    God bless you and your family! You look like a busy mommy!

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  46. Thanks for sharing this hilarious story! I could SOOO see this happening at our home! LOL You are so funny!

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  47. That is hilarious!!!!Just the laugh I needed this morning!

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