Tuesday, May 26, 2009


My husband and I got into a spat the other day.

I was mad.

Steaming mad.

After going back and forth for a few minutes, he said something to which I had the perfect response.

A zinger of zingers, if you will.

I will win with this one, I thought to myself.

But, just as I began to open my mouth, I had to dash out of the room to rescue one of my children from imminent peril.

I hurried through the rescue - watching the door with one eye, pining to get back and relay my winning blow.

As I sat there comforting and wiping tears from the flushed face of my little boy, the zing was seeping out of my Mother of all Zingers. And, what seemed like the perfect response during a heated exchange just moments before, was slowly revealing itself as a lame and pathetic attempt at deliberately hurting the one I love.

I went to rescue my little one. My little one had rescued me.

Pause before zinging.

Zingers deflate in mere moments.


  1. Wise words Sarah! Reminds me of You've Got Mail... when she always wanted to have the perfect come back and when she did, she felt awful.

  2. Oh there are so many times I've had to literally clamp my jaws shut to keep the sarcasm in when Dave and I argue. It's a pact we made in our first year of marriage, but sometimes it can be so difficult to not want to strike out when I feel hurt. I'm glad you held back -- glad for the unexpected grace of a child's tears.

  3. Thank you for such an honest post. My husband and I are "silent fighters" for this very reason. We've been married for almost 9 years now, and never had a verbal argument. I think it stems from both of us having parents who constantly argued. Thankfully, we agree on most things.

  4. Oh, how I wish this was a lesson easily learned for me. This is a precious nugget of wisdom and a great reminder of a lesson God has been repeatedly teaching me since before marriage!

  5. Let me guess. You were going to say, "You're a meanie face!"

  6. Oh to have the self control to pause before zinging...yes, something I NEED to work on!

  7. Oh, such good advice, and so hard to follow! I've been trying to learn the same lesson, "Think before you speak" for many years. Something my husband and I learned in our premarital counseling was to try to never say anything that did not build the other up. Not to say things that would tear the other person's self esteem down, especially in front of other people. It made a real difference when we practiced it consciously. Still working on it, though!

  8. Great post SG. Thanks for the reminder...

  9. Amen! I need to do that. Its awful how much satisfaction we get from being hurtful and spiteful to the people we care about.

  10. It's nice to have those unexpected moments of grace.

  11. A post I will always remember. Thanks for such great advice.

  12. It was bold of you to include this post, Sar. I mean... sharing you fight in your marriage is a hard thing to admit. And sharing the "zinger" was very humble of you.

    You're a wise woman. I'm glad your children mean so much to you. And your hubs, too.

  13. So should I be praying for a better "filter" (so that what comes to mind doesn't come out of my mouth) or more interruptions from my kids. Wink!

    Maybe I should do what Jenni said and make a pact for our 20 year anniversary to cut out the sarcasm instead.

    We are a very "verbal" household.

    Thank you for sharing!

  14. great reminder... i know i need a pause button or a clamp for my lips many times.