Lessons in Servanthood

Jack and Max - my three and four year-old boys - are poster children for "best friends/worst enemies". It's a perplexing back and forth that puzzles even me, the Momma in the front row with the best view.

So, I've been conducting an experiment on my little Back-and-Forthers.

When one of them offends, hurts, whacks, taunts - sins against his brother, I put the offender in time out. Not in a time out chair removed from the family, as I would normally do, but on a chair in our family room. In the center of our home.

The one who is hurt gets attention and lovin' from Momma - and then immediately begins serving his brother who is sitting in time out.

He can bring his time out stricken brother a snack, a drink, a toy, put on his favorite movie, or find some other way of loving and serving the one who has hurt him. The one who has offended him. The one that reached out in anger and administered the blow.

Why? Why this approach? It seems so backwards and unfair. Let the train-thrower serve the brother who wears the bandaid across his forehead. Let him pay for what he's done.

I chose this approach for my precious, malleable boys because serving someone who has hurt you, offended you, sinned against you is so terribly difficult when your wounds are fresh and raw - but so worth undertaking. Because reaching out in forgiveness and love when you want to whack the one who hurt you over the head breaks down walls, heals, and restores. And, because extending grace trumps the sin that would sever, tear, and break.

But, most importantly, I chose this approach because Jesus responded this way. Because Jesus reached out in forgiveness when His wounds were fresh and raw. Because Jesus extended grace immediately, when His forehead still bled from the wounds of our sin.

It's easy to be angry, punish, ignore, retaliate. It's what comes naturally when you've been on the receiving end of injustice and hurt.

But, it is amazing what happens when you immediately begin to serve someone who has hurt you. Your wounds begin to heal. Their shame is replaced with gratitude.

Pain and brokenness are replaced with joy as the relationship is restored.

As my little boys grow into men, they will be hurt, offended and betrayed more times than I can bear to think about. And, most frequently, by those close to them.

It is how they respond to those offenses that will reveal the true depth of their character.

My hope for them is that they learn to respond in love, servanthood, forgiveness, and grace.

Just like their Savior.