Friday, August 14, 2009

The Twinge

I love my boys.

I am utterly, completely, totally, and hopelessly in love with my boys.

But, every so often, I get this twinge.

It says, "But, wouldn't you love to have a little girl? Wouldn't you love to play dolls and dress up and venture over into that *pink* side of the store?"

I don't know if every mother hopes for a daughter. I'm not sure if *I* have ever hoped for one. But, I feel this "twinge" from time to time - and I think it quite possibly happens to many mothers of all one gender. It's just not something women feel comfortable talking about. It would seem ungrateful to admit that there is this part of us that wonders what it would be like to mother a daughter; to mother a son.

It's more of a twinge than a longing. And, it's more about wonder than it is about discontentment. And, it usually goes as quickly as it comes and I go right back to lightsaber fighting, t-ball batting, dirt digging, and scab-picking.

But, when I got to spend time with three of my childhood/college girlfriends when I was back home a few weeks ago, they each brought along one of these.

I submit to you that my friends are in a conspiracy with Mr. Twingemeister. Because I took one look at these three sweethearts and he abruptly shifted into hyperdrive.

Help me, Rhonda.

I'm in love.


  1. Dear sweet Sarah, I grew up with 3 older, meaner brothers. I never, ever wanted sons. God must have known my heart and you know what I ended up with. The only time I even thought about MAYBE wanting a son was when I thought about my husband having a boy.

    Many years later I met 3 little boys that grabbed my heart. I adore them!

    I never had my own sons, but I met three little boys to love and shower with hugs and kisses (when they will let me.)

    I pray that someday I have grandsons just like your three boys.

    If you never have a daughter I know you will have daughter in laws and be the best at being a great mom-in-law. Maybe someday you will have your sons little beauties running around your house with ribbons, bow, and baby dolls.

  2. How serious is that "twinge" getting? Do you have news for us? ;o) hee hee....I just HAD to ask.

    Okay, I went to college with you, and I can't place baby #1. Help!

    I completely understand your "twinge." I think I wanted girls as much as you wanted boys (and I thank God EVERY DAY for my sweet girls), but it would be nice to explore how the other side lives......but does there HAVE to be scab picking and snakes and bugs?

  3. A friend has all boys and I always liked her perspective - God wants her to focus on raising Godly men - which we know this world needs more of.

    And I agree with Ginger - when they get married, it will be an amazing friendship with your daughter in laws!!

  4. i don't want your twinge to go into overdrive, but i think there's something very special about having a daughter. can you, knowing what it's like to have sons, imagine having all girls and not being able to experience having at least one boy?

    and i think it's very normal to have that twinge when you don't have a specific gender. it's too bad God doesn't give each set of parents one set of children - at least one boy and one girl. it's the best of both worlds.

    does this mean you're going for #4? =D

  5. Oh Sarah, I know just how you feel. We have three boys, too. I wouldn't trade them in for the world. Boys are wonderful, but it is hard, isn't it? Sometimes, I don't understand them and they take all of my energy to keep them on the right track. I get envious of my friends who have little girls who seem so much calmer than my boys. I just keep reminding myself that it will, hopefully, be easier when they are teenagers. I would love, too, to venture to the pink side of the store, but for now, I just wear as much pink as I can!

  6. Sarah, I know what you mean. With both of our children we didn't find out the gender until birth. We only planned to have two and we wanted the surprise factor. My husband wanted a boy first, and I was almost certain we were having a girl. I mean, things don't seem to go the way I want them, and I didn't want to be disappointed. So I figured we'd probably end up with a girl; it made me sad that my husband wouldn't get what he wished for b/c of my dumb "luck". My son was a sweet, satisfying surprise.

    But then when I was pregnant the second time, I longed so much for a girl. But again, doubts crowded my heart. There was no way I was going to get my wish twice. I felt guilty thinking that I wouldn't be satisfied with whoever God decided to give me. I held my breath during the c-section until the doctor asked if anyone knew "she" was coming out bottom first.

    My SIL has 3 boys, and I know there are times she wishes she had a little girl. Not instead of any of her boys, but still.

    All I can say is God knows the desires of our hearts. If He has a different plan, it must be for a really wonderful reason. :0)

    And I'm not a proponent of trying once more for the sake of maybe getting the other gender, but there were 3 girls in our family and then my mom and dad had 2 boys. So I guess you never know.

  7. Having one boy followed by two girls, I've lately found myself having the twinge for another boy. Not that it is same situation as you, but twinges none the less.

  8. Oh my, mine is much more than a twinge. If anything makes me jealous, it is a happy mother-daughter pair. I ALWAYS wanted a baby girl--not a baby anymore that I am old but that is one of the desires of my heart that was never fulfilled. God surely had a reason. I prayed and prayed for a little girl. I cried buckets over that issue. I do love my two sons, with all my heart! There is still that little bit of incompletion. Still my heart goes out to those that never had the privilege of having any children or people that have children with serious illnesses. Then I feel guilty. I recognize that I am incredibly blessed.

  9. i have been having the same twinge as lifeatthecircus. now that my boy is growing up, losing teeth, staring K, I want another little boy to love on and hold.

    You don't love your girls or boys any more or any less but it is just different.

  10. i'm right there with you too. i am expecing baby #4 in november and it will also be baby boy #4 =) while so excited to have this new baby join our family, i was momentarily sad that it was not going to be a girl. maybe some day we'll add to our family, but if not like another said, i'll have 4 lovely daughter-in-laws to love on!

  11. I know I told you once already, but those pictures are so beautiful of each of those girls. As for the twinge, I used to have it every now and again before we were done having kids. But knowing that we're done and being content with that decision kinda took it away. However...ask me again when we have 16, 15 and 13 year old girls running about the house. My answer might be different. LOL.

  12. My husband used to say, "This is what little girls look like," whenever we had the chance to spend time with female children.

    I wanted a girl, but God gave me three boys. And later I realized how wise He was. I'm a much better lizard finder than a doll dresser. I was a tomboy, grew up with brothers, and do NOT wear dresses even to this day.

    I'm good with ANY kind of sport on tv, can hold my own playing catch, and even have my own toolbox and power drill.

    Guys are GREAT!! Enjoy them.

  13. I found your blog through WFMW (totally doing the bulletin board, by the way - and I'm doing MFW with my "kindergartner" and his little brother, my son turned 5 on the 19th) and the more I read, the more we have in common so I couldn't help but comment.
    I am pregnant with my third and might find out tomorrow if it's another boy or a little girl. I totally understand the "twinge" but I might just sign a big sigh of relief if we find out it's a third son. I will be content either way.
    I'm rambling but just had to comment :)