Leaving My Nest

It came entirely out of the blue.

And, I didn't expect it. Certainly not at 6:14 AM this morning.

I woke up and it was as if someone had installed faucets into my tear ducts, and turned them on the minute I opened my eyes.

I've cried all day long today.

I cried through breakfast and through several loads of laundry. I closed my eyes and prayed, but even as I cried out to God, I had nothing to say. I couldn't put my finger on why I couldn't get a hold of my emotions.

So, I did the only thing I could think of to do.

I called my Mom.

She answered and I immediately broke down for the umpteenth time in less than two hours.

I don't even know why I'm crying, Mom.

I do, she answered.

You're leaving your nest.

Leaving my nest.

Leaving my nest.

Leaving my nest.

I let those words ring over and over in my ears as I listened to her softly comfort me with her wisdom.

Yes. She was right.

I was crying because I'm leaving my nest.

We, as wives and mothers, put so much of our time, energy, and love into making a home for our family. We cook, clean, snuggle, nurse, play, sweep, launder, bathe, read to, comfort, and teach our children inside the walls of a house. And, then as life would have it, by choice or out of necessity, we move.

We move on.

We leave our nest.

I often think about my little family and how I'd rather be in the desert with my husband and boys, burnt feet, sweaty forehead, and miles to go than in the most luxurious palace in the world without them.

They are my home. Or, as history and wall plaques would tell it, "Home is where your heart is."

But, I have spent the last two years in this home, inside these walls, lovingly and purposefully building this nest for them.

And, for the better part of today, I cried.

Because I'm leaving my nest. And, moving on to build a new one.