Thursday, April 15, 2010

Leaving My Nest

It came entirely out of the blue.

And, I didn't expect it. Certainly not at 6:14 AM this morning.

I woke up and it was as if someone had installed faucets into my tear ducts, and turned them on the minute I opened my eyes.

I've cried all day long today.

I cried through breakfast and through several loads of laundry. I closed my eyes and prayed, but even as I cried out to God, I had nothing to say. I couldn't put my finger on why I couldn't get a hold of my emotions.

So, I did the only thing I could think of to do.

I called my Mom.

She answered and I immediately broke down for the umpteenth time in less than two hours.

I don't even know why I'm crying, Mom.

I do, she answered.

You're leaving your nest.

Leaving my nest.

Leaving my nest.

Leaving my nest.

I let those words ring over and over in my ears as I listened to her softly comfort me with her wisdom.

Yes. She was right.

I was crying because I'm leaving my nest.

We, as wives and mothers, put so much of our time, energy, and love into making a home for our family. We cook, clean, snuggle, nurse, play, sweep, launder, bathe, read to, comfort, and teach our children inside the walls of a house. And, then as life would have it, by choice or out of necessity, we move.

We move on.

We leave our nest.

I often think about my little family and how I'd rather be in the desert with my husband and boys, burnt feet, sweaty forehead, and miles to go than in the most luxurious palace in the world without them.

They are my home. Or, as history and wall plaques would tell it, "Home is where your heart is."

But, I have spent the last two years in this home, inside these walls, lovingly and purposefully building this nest for them.

And, for the better part of today, I cried.

Because I'm leaving my nest. And, moving on to build a new one.


  1. So this is what I have to look forward to... ;-) Of course, I've already cried about it twice and I expect many more times in the next 6 weeks. I'm glad your mom could give you some comfort.

  2. I was just thinking about you and how excited you were with your perfect kitchen when you bought your current house.

    I also remember moving into our current house and feeling sick the first night or two and missing my old house.

    It's all a transition and God will see you through. You will always remember special things about Michigan, but soon your new home will become the place where memories are made :D

    Hang in there my friend!

  3. I'm glad you could "cry". Sometimes we hurt but can't express our hurt with anyone. Your Mom sounds like a very wise lady. How often I wish I could talk to my Mom/Aunt. She is no longer here but enjoying her life in heaven.

  4. I hope tomorrow you'll feel better, but I'd say another big part of your tears is probably HORMONES. :0) Just cry and know that what you're feeling is normal and valid. Glad you have your mom to lean on.

  5. Awww, you poor thing.


    There ain't nothing wrong with a good cry - can't wait to see what is in store for you in NC! Only One Person knows!! :)

  6. Welp!!! You made me *sniff* with you again....

  7. Oh Sweet Sarah- I'm so sorry for your tears and the crazy beauty of it all. SO much emotion for a girl to take in... leaving the nest, making a new one, rounding up the youngins and growing another. Keeping it all together.

    Have a good cry. I'm glad you called your momma.


  8. Oh girlie.. I totally get why your crying... I would be too if I were in your shoes.. no matter how excited I was about the new location. Glad your momma was able to shed some light on the situation.

    You prob already thought of this, but make sure you take some great pics of the house so you can frame one and hang it in your new house.

  9. We have 7 weeks before we leave our nest and I'm already sniffling, It's so hard to journey on. This will move #8 in 13 years. I was always excited about moving on/moving up but after I had my children, it is just bittersweet. I hate the feeling of leaving our life we know behind. When we came here three years ago, I bawled for weeks (pregnancy didn't help). Hopefully, I and we will adjust more easily and quickly this time.

    Blessings to you in your new nest!