$33.00. Oh, The Things You Can Buy.

This weekend, Sunday morning to be precise, we went to the North Carolina State Fair.

We skipped church to go. Because it was the last day of the fair, the only day we were able go, and there was no way we, and our four prone-to-wander little tykes, were gonna finagle our way through the fair once the Baptists got out of church and descended upon the place at precisely half past 12.

Whatever. That had nothing to do with it. We had to get back for the Ravens game. We have priorities.

I had been to the NC State Fair once before. I came to visit my sister when Lincoln was a wee bebe. Look at my little Lincoln the first time he was at the fair.

Look at him now! I've asked him to stop growing. He's having none of that.

Well, a good time was had by all. There was so much to look at and SO much to do.

There were a lot of local vendors there - a lot of farmers.

There were basket makers, pottery makers, homemade ice creamery owners, gun makers, quilters, toymakers, and a boatload of BBQ sauce entrepreneurs giving out free samples.

[OH, THE LOVE PEOPLE HAVE DOWN HERE FOR BBQ SAUCE.]

From the moment we arrived, the boys wanted to "play the games". We might have let them were it not for the creepy middle-aged men with microphones wooing them to play. My Daddy taught me that those things were a big time ripoff anyway. And, my Daddy was right about a whole lot of things.

So, we let them pretend.

Those games make BIG promises. BIG promises - especially to little ones.

I mean really, who needs a big overstuffed banana? Especially one that costs $33.00 after 11 attempts at hitting all manner of balloons with darts?

Apparently, a lot of people. Because I saw no small number of early-twenty something men carrying these things around for their girlfriends.

To all the young men out there, of which there is maybe one that reads this blog: I submit to you that if you impress your girlfriend by winning at darts vs. balloons to the tune of $33.00, then carry a big, overstuffed banana around for her, she will love you forever. Really. She will. Promise. {rolls eyes and shakes head}

We did, however, splurge and pay $12 (gasp) for our buddies to ride the swings with their Dad. Because that is a memory. And, memories are so much better than oversized, stuffed bananas clogging up a landfill.

While the boys stood in line for the swings, I spotted this rack of handmade kids' sweaters. How cute are these? Such fun, adorable colors and patterns.

There was all manner of fried food. Oh, yes indeed, there was fried food. Lined up on counters about every 10 steps throughout the place.

The fresh-cut french fries are considered a vegetable at the fair. Boiled potatoes. French fries. Same thing. {said the thigh to the butt as they argued over who was to blame for the jeans that clung like Saran wrap}

But, this. This is... Well, this made me speechless. For a moment anyway.

You wanna see, don't you? Come on. You know you do.

Well, here it is.

OH MY HEAVENS TO BETSY! No, I didn't order one. But, the teenager at the counter tried to convince me that it was really good with bacon and cheese (for only $1.50 more) and that the "Krispy Kreme Burger" is "probably only about 400-500 calories."

BAH HAHAHAHA! Um. No. I don't think so, and you are a very bad and uninformed salesperson. I have in fact asked Señor Google in the past exactly how many calories are in a Krispy Kreme donut and he told me 200. He's right about most things. And, I'm no mathematician, but add two of those with a greasy burger, cheese and bacon, and we ain't talkin' 500 calories.

I mean, really, people, is this gross or IS THIS GROSS?

And, while you're at it, I suppose you could wash it all down with Coke's ugly stepsister, too. *snicker*

As we were leaving, I tried to convince my husband that we needed matching, airbrushed sweatshirts. He could get my name on his. I could get his name on mine. I mean, Kasey was out - we're Maryland fans to the core, but I thought something to the tune of Dale and Ashlyn might be nice. And, nothing says love like matching airbrushed sweatshirts. Nothing.

"But, honey - they're only $33!"

He just rolled his eyes.

"But, but, but honeeeeeey...I didn't ask you to win me an overstuffed banana. OR carry it around for me, now did I? I mean, they're the same price!"

He totally wouldn't go for it.

Party pooper.