I Was Not Prepared. Oh, SWEET HEAVENS, I Was Not Prepared!

Jack: Mom, I have a crush.

Me {trying to stifle the coughing, gagging, GASPING!}: You do? Who do you have a crush on?

Jack: Avery.

Me {attempting to hide my shock that he actually uttered a name}: Well, what does it mean to have a crush?

Jack: It means you're in love.

(OH MY WORD!)

Me: What does it mean to be in love?

Jack: It means you want to get married.

(NO, HE DID NOT!)

I didn't know what to say. That doesn't happen very often. Me - with nothing. But, I was speechless.

He's in KINDERGARTEN! And, besides talking to him on occasion about Mom and Dad being in love and being married, we've never talked about crushes and other such NON-KINDERGARTEN TOPICS LIKE MATRIMONY.

I mean, I thought I had a few years before we entered this territory.

Girls? Crushes? IN LOVE? MARRIAGE??

I changed the subject to Legos and his latest drawing.

BECAUSE SOMEONE HAD TO FIND US A TRAIN OUT OF THERE!

Thinking we were finished with the girls/crushes/in love/marriage verbiage, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Then.

Five minutes later:

Jack: Mom, I DO NOT trust girls.

(Well, Praise the good Lord Jesus, he's come to his senses.)

Me: Why not, baby?

Jack: Because they make up stories. You can only trust college girls.

OH SWEET MERCY, where did that come from? And, college girls? Oh, honey - they are among the WORST!

I told my husband. I wanted his sympathy and understanding. Or at least a cup of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows and a Bojangles biscuit with butter and jelly.

He looked up at me from his computer, smiled a sly smile, and shrugged his shoulders: "Eh, at least he likes girls."

If you need me, I'll be in the corner, curled up in the fetal position wondering how on earth I'm going to raise four boys under these conditions.