How To Play Third Base

Inspect for changes.

Wiggle.

Forward push.

Back and forth. Back and forth.

Yank. {OMG!}

Attempt to pull. {OH MY WORD!}

At which point your Dad jumps up and hollers, "Jack - batter up. Pay attention, bud."

And, your Mom can't stop laughing at how unbelievably precious and perfect you are as a third baseman.